


After The Fall

by KyloTrashForever



Series: Oneshots [9]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternating Time Jumps, Angel & Demon Interactions, Angel/Demon Relationship, Angel/Demon Sex, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Biblical References, Biblical Reinterpretation, F/M, Fallen Angels, First Time, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Heaven & Hell, Heaven vs Hell, Inappropriate Use of a Tail, Loss of Virginity, Merry Christmas Have Some Angst, Purple Prose, virgin reylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 04:43:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16947228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloTrashForever/pseuds/KyloTrashForever
Summary: “I can’t.”“Youmust.”She opened the packet, pulling out the single sheet of paper adorned with elegant script that was penned by the scribe of God himself. She knew what it said before her eyes passed over it, but reading it threatened to split her already splintered soul in two all the same.Kylo Ren, Order of the First, Master of the Dark, Supreme Demon.No, she thought to herself.Not him. Anyone but him.In which Ben fell from heaven for love.





	After The Fall

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SageMcMae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageMcMae/gifts).



 

* * *

  _The End_

Heaven is often portrayed as some illustrious palace beset in a lush landscape of epic proportions. The Bible liked to paint it that way and Rey supposed to some— that’s exactly what it was. Only, Heaven was not for beings like her. Heaven was for mankind. A final resting place for God’s favorite creation. She had never seen it. Only those of higher ranks were afforded that privilege.

The only parts of this vast dwelling that she and her kind resided in had she seen were the series of clinical offices that made up the day-to-day workings of her brethren. That and the garden of course. The garden was their only luxury, an eden of colorful flora that was as beautiful as it was divine. Rey spent all her free time there— spare moments between training sessions where she could simply sit and enjoy her peaceful existence.

But that was all about to change.

She knew that this day would come, that she would be expected to follow the path laid before her. She did not remember such a thing as being born, so she could not attest that she was _born_ for this. However she deftly remembers being _made,_ coming to be with the singular purpose to rise against evil and commit her heavenly body to the cause of doing so.

Angels do not feel fear, do not feel regret or uncertainty. Yet on that day she was riddled with all three. She knew where this path would eventually lead her, and she was quite certain she would never be ready for what this course entailed. A day would come when she would face him, and she didn’t know if she would be able to do what was expected of her when it came.

She sat then at the base of the Life Tree at the center of the garden, staring up into its branches and letting her gaze linger over the shining fruit that hung from its branches. She wondered what they tasted like. A dangerous thought to be sure, one that would have her severely punished simply for entertaining it.

She let out a sigh, pushing to her feet and adjusting the simple white robe that hung from her form. Her wings cascaded behind her, soft and downy yet capable of a power that would lift her to new heights in the blink of an eye. Luke would be waiting for her, and she knew he hated to be kept waiting. Her fate had been set since the day she came into being, and she could not fight it any longer.

Luke’s office was one of the largest— cold and clinical, with stark white walls befitting someone of rigid virtue such as him. Her knock at his door was timid and unsure, almost as if she were afraid and she supposed it was fitting considering she was.

“Come in,” he answered, his voice even and hollow. Luke was ancient— he had seen the beginning of all things and had been training the _Jedi_ since those first seven days.

His unit was tasked with keeping a balance; they were to hunt and police those errant dark forces that had become too powerful to be ignored. Their greatest threat came in the form of an elite group of demons, a formidable sect led by an ancient evil. Astaroth Snoke was the right hand of Lucifer himself— he did all the things the devil could not be bothered with himself and he was _very_ adept at his job. His _Order of the First_ was one that instilled fear into even some of the most ancient of angels.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Luke frowned. “You knew this day would come.”

“I know that. I just don’t think I’m ready.”

“You are,” he assured her. “You’ve trained for this. You’re ready.”

She repressed the urge to sigh, knowing such an action was unbecoming of one of her status. Instead, she only gave him an even look, hand outstretched as she waited for her dossier. She willed the anxiety she felt to dissipate, knowing if it bloomed further Luke would be able to sense it.

“I need you to know this is not my doing,” he told her evenly.

Her hand curled inwards just slightly, dread settling like a heated stone inside her and searing her insides. She eyed the crisp envelope in his hand, already launching in denial. Surely fate could not be so cruel. Surely this would not be her very first assignment.

“Tell me it isn’t so,” she pleaded softly.

His brow furrowed only slightly, the only hint of sympathy she wasn’t even sure he was capable of feeling. “Rey… this is the will of God. We cannot argue with it, and we cannot question it.

“Luke…” she whispered. “I can’t.”

“You _must_.”

He thrust the dossier towards her, and she took it with shaking hands. She knew without a doubt what it contained, and she would never be ready for it. She’d thought she would have more time. Precious time to steel herself for this, or perhaps even avoid it altogether as it fell to someone else.

Such was not the will of God it seemed.

She opened the packet, pulling out the single sheet of paper adorned with elegant script that was penned by the scribe of God himself. She knew what it said before her eyes ever passed over it, but reading it threatened to split her already splintered spirit in two all the same.

_Kylo Ren, Order of the First, Master of the Dark, Supreme Demon._

_No,_ she thought to herself. _Not him. Anyone but him._

* * *

  _The Beginning_

 _“_ I watched them again today,” he informed her quietly.

She clicked her tongue. “You should be studying.”

He waved her off, leaning against the bark of the Life Tree and shrugging. “We are expected to offer our lives in service to these creatures, and I would like to know just what it is I’m protecting.”

“They are God’s children, Ben. That is all we need to know.”

“Are we not his children as well? Why are _they_ so different?”

She eyed him warily, setting the scroll she held down on the grass and giving him a stern look. “Ben, that is a dangerous line of thought. You know what questions like that will get you.”

He frowned, tearing his eyes away from hers and staring out across the garden. “It’s just… we are given this tiny corner as appeasement and they are afforded the entirety of heaven all for themselves. They have done _nothing_ to deserve such paradise. They are fickle creatures. I have seen it.”

She chewed her lip, that line of conversation making her increasingly more nervous. Ben and she had been made together, and since that time he had been her constant. Angels came in twos, much like all things that God favored, and Ben had been her other half. They were meant to help each other, train together, and protect one another above all things.

“Ben… We cannot have this conversation again.”

“Why not?” he questioned. “Must we blindly do everything that is demanded of us?”

“ _Yes,_ Ben. That is what we are.”

“I do not like to think of you in danger.”

“I am not in danger,” she assured him. “This is my purpose. Besides, I will have you to protect me, just as I will protect you.”

He eyed her heavily, the warmth of his deep brown eyes boring into hers and making her shift. He was beautiful, just as all angels were, but his was a countenance that mortal men eternalized in marble or paint. His full lips rested above a strong jaw, his dark hair thick and tumbling to his shoulders. His face was mapped with a constellation of beauty marks, a disconnected pattern that she sometimes felt the urge to trace with her finger. Such thoughts were dangerous. Such thoughts were not for their kind.

“Tell me, Rey,” he all but whispered. “Do you love me?”

She swallowed nervously, uncomfortable by his question and all it alluded. This was _not_ their way.

“I love all God’s creations,” she murmured. “Especially you.”

He shook his head, rising to his knees and sidling towards her so that she was escaping to press her back to the tree. His arms came around her, caging her in and causing her to suck in a breath that she held.

“That is not my meaning,” he said urgently. “I do not think I love you as God’s creation. I hold little love for his creation in fact… but you… I feel something for you I cannot put into words.”

“ _Ben,”_ she gasped. “This is not our way.”

His gaze fell to her mouth, parted in shock even as he neared closer. “Then perhaps I want another way.”

Then his lips were on hers, warm and heady and robbing her of all the reasons why this could not be done. If someone were to catch them… such feelings between their kind was considered forbidden. Angels did not love like this.

Only his lips were so soft; they were everything she’d ever imagined in her darkest of daydreams. She could not pretend she hadn’t thought of this. She had thought of it more than she cared to admit… but to _do_ it… it was dangerous.

She pushed at his solid chest, scrambling away from him and breathing too hard for comfort. Her fingers were at her lips, still in shock even as she could still feel the plushness of his pressed to hers.

“We _can’t,”_ she rasped.

“Why not?” he growled angrily. “Are we not his children? I have watched them, Rey. I have watched the humans. They are allowed to love freely, even when they do not deserve it. Why should it not be so for us as well?”

“Love is a dangerous thing. It clouds your judgement.”

“Can you truly pretend you feel nothing? That I am nothing to you?”

“Ben…” she whispered brokenly. “You know how much you mean to me. You _know_ it, but… we cannot do this. It is too great a risk.”

He let out a shuddered breath, hanging his head and falling to his knees. “Then what is the point of all this?”

“It is our purpose,” she reminded him gently, her heart still pounding away beneath her ribs.

“Rey… I know you feel something for me. You’re just _afraid_. Don’t be afraid, Rey… I feel it too.”

She felt tears threatening to well, giving the smallest shake of her head. “I _can’t_ , Ben.”

He gave her one last look, his eyes haunted and containing some glimpse of something she did not recognize, something _dark._ “I will not accept anything less than you, Rey. You are the reason for my existence. Not _them.”_

He stood then, leaving her alone to her thoughts and disappearing deeper into the garden. She willed the hammering of her heart to calm, clutching at the bit of robe over her aching chest and closing her eyes as she caught her breath. She could not pretend she felt nothing. She could not pretend she did not want to go after him then and finish what they’d started.  

She couldn’t though. Of course she couldn’t. That was not her destiny. It was not _theirs._ So she watched him go, telling herself that with time he would return to normal. With time he would forget about his feelings and return to his duty and all would be well.

She could never have been more wrong.

* * *

_The End_

The parchment lay tightly clutched in her grip as she stared down at it in disbelief. She looked to Luke with wide eyes, shaking her head. “You know I cannot do this.”

He slapped a hand across his desk. “You know you _must.”_

“ _Luke_ ,” she pleaded. “I have already lost him once. You cannot ask me to lose him again… and by my own _hand.”_

“It is not I that asks this of you, Rey. You know that. You know where these orders come from.”

“How can he punish me so? Have I not been punished enough?”

“He does not _punish_ you. This is not a vendetta.”

“Then why does it feel so?” she whispered.

Luke frowned, heaving out a sigh and scrubbing a hand down his face in frustration. “Rey, you must stop this. This is a dangerous path you’re treading… and I think you know all too well where it leads.”

She looked away so that he could not see the shine of her eyes, her chest so tight she feared it might burst. She could only nod, a slow, mournful action that carried all the regret she felt in that moment.

“As he commands it,” she whispered.

She turned to go, Luke’s voice halting her at the door. “For what it is worth… I am sorry, Rey.”

She did not answer, instead leaving Luke behind her and pressing ahead. She would be expected to leave immediately, not given the luxury of preparing herself. As far as they were concerned she’d been preparing for this moment her entire existence.

Only… how did one prepare for something such as this? How does one hunt their other half… with the intent of taking them down? Hunt someone that she— that she— she could not think it. It held too much sorrow. She could not think the feeling that she could never even voice for _him._

He was not hers anymore. Had not been for a very long time. From what she had heard he was a mere shadow of himself, all light within him fading and leaving nothing but this _Kylo Ren._ This monster molded by Astaroth himself.

The day she lost him was the darkest day of her being. On that day there was no light to be found for her, and for the first time since being made she found what it was to be truly alone. To lose one’s other half is a fate worse than death, and that is exactly how she felt now. Like a walking death, breathing and moving but inside empty and hollow.

She blamed herself for his falling, of course she did. How could she not? Everything he had done… he had done for her. For _them._ Or at least that is how he saw it. On some days she almost saw it too, even as she quickly stifled those feelings as she knew they were dangerous.

Her life now consisted of a war of her duty and her heart, and she wasn’t sure anymore to which beast she was being held to.

She gird herself, affixing herself with gauntlets and grieves and finally the heavy breastplate that would protect her heart. She almost laughed at the thought, knowing her heart was already broken beyond repair. What more could be done?

Finally she looked to the gleaming sword that awaited her, the instrument of righteousness that she would be expected to drive through him. She stared at it for far longer than was necessary, questioning her resolve. Could she really do it? Could she end him?

He was so strong now, so much fiercer than who she once knew. Perhaps he would take the choice from her. He must be so angry with her… there was no chance he did not hate her. Perhaps that would be her final reprieve— death by his hand. It was almost preferable.

Finally she took the sword in hand, affixing it to her girdle and taking a deep breath. She could do this. She had no other choice in the matter. He was not the one she knew, and he would never be again. She had trained her entire existence for this, and she would not fail now.

Even if it killed her.

Even if it was her fault.

* * *

_The Beginning_

The clamor of swords rang through the training area, heavy falls of metal on metal as she lunged at him again and again. Every attack he parried with a smirk, batting away her attempts as if they were nothing. Never once had she bested him, no matter the extent of the training she pushed herself through. Ben was simply too strong, too anticipating of her movements.

She also supposed that deep down the idea of _actually_ hurting him filled her with something akin to nausea.

“You’re barely trying,” he taunted her. “You have to _mean_ it, Rey.”

She grit her teeth, spinning on her heel to swing from behind. He blocked her swing, pushing her backwards with his shield and knocking her away.

“ _Mean_ it, Rey.”

“I’m _trying.”_

He grinned. “No you aren’t. You’re too afraid of hurting me to give it your all.”

She frowned. “What if I am?”

“You can’t hurt me. These blades weren’t meant for us. They are only for the wicked. See?”

He demonstrated, bringing the sharp edge to his palm and applying pressure as he slid it across his palm. It left no cut, his palm as smooth and unblemished as always. She glanced down at her own blade, suddenly filled with new resolve. She sprang forward, catching him unaware and slamming into his shocked form as he tumbled backwards.

He made to steady himself, but she dropped to both heels to sweep her leg at his ankles. He fell to his back, and she pounced over his to bring her blade just to his throat in a downward arc. His mouth was parted in shock, his eyes wide and full of awe at her determined expression.

“There she is,” he murmured, his voice a hushed whisper.

Their closeness was something intimate then, her perched over his much larger body in a compromising position that she was made all to aware of when the adrenaline of their sparring session began to ebb from her bloodstream. She felt his hands at the leather that draped over her thighs, the battle skirt a standard article of clothing for their kind. In that moment though it made it possible for his thumb to brush at the skin underneath, and she felt a warmth tingling under his touch that both terrified and exhilarated.

She knew he was of a similar mind, his eyes dark and heated as he gazed up at her. For several moments they remained like that, every cursed moment from their last encounter rushing back to her and suddenly she could almost _feel_ his lips on hers as if they’d never left. It had only been three days. Three days that he had distanced himself and then returned as if nothing had ever happened.

She’d thought him better. She’d thought perhaps things would return to normal. How could they though, where every moment she was near him she was assaulted with the memory of his arms around her and his lips over hers.

She cleared her throat, quickly standing to move away from him. He lay on his back for a time, eyes still blazing as he regarded her before finally standing. She watched as his fists clenched, his jaw working furiously as if the words he kept inside it were attempting to claw their way out.

“Why do you fight it?” he whispered.

She looked away, dropping her sword to rub at her arm nervously. “Because I must. Because _we_ must.”

“Why? Because someone we’ve never met decreed it?”

“I cannot have this discussion with you again, Ben.”

“Neither can I,” he uttered, his voice becoming uncharacteristically mournful. “It seems there is no point. Perhaps… perhaps I was alone in this all along.”

Again he began to walk away from her, and with his every step she felt herself losing him. What could she do? What more could she do to hold on to him, save for the one thing she knew was forbidden? She felt her heart breaking, knowing something was changing between them and she was helpless to stop it.

“You’re not alone,” she whispered.

She knew these were the words he needed to hear… and yet the only ones she could never tell him.

* * *

_The End_

How strange it was that her first descent into the mortal realm bore such sad tidings. Since she was young she’d dreamt of this day, of traveling below to fulfill her purpose. Only in her dreams he’d been beside her; he’d been there every step of the way. How strange now that she would have to walk the path alone.

The absurdity of it all almost brought her to laughter— he was to be her partner and now he was her charge. She wondered what he might say when she found him; would he he even speak at all? She knew there was a good chance he would simply strike, attempt to cut her down where she stood without so much as uttering a word.

After the fall, she knew he’d become something different— something dark. For all she knew the being she’d knew was completely gone. She had to prepare herself for that likely possibility.

Because of the information transcribed in her dossier, she knew exactly where she would find him. The moment she’d opened her task, his location had been burned into her being like that of a beacon that would bring her straight to him.

Not that she needed it. This was _Ben._ She could find him in the dark.

She felt his presence, deep within some secluded place and far away from man. Almost as if he expected her. She supposed it was likely he did. He had to have known, known from that day so many moons ago that this would be how it would come to pass. She certainly had— she’d thought of little else.

Over the skies she soared, the scenery and wonder below her she’d so dreamed of for so long seeming grey, meaningless. There was no color without him. No hope, or joy. Soon, there would be nothing, and she would be forced to live out her days as only half of herself.

She almost preferred death.

She did not recognize how much time passed when she finally let her feet rest on the Earth where she knew he lingered nearby. Around her was nothing but green. Soft, lush greenery that carpeted the ground below her feet and draped across trees and rock alike. In many ways it reminded her of the Garden. Only… it felt more peaceful, more quiet.

 _I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy,_ she thought idly to herself.

She felt him before she saw him, his presence like the other piece of her soul she’d been missing— calling her home. Slowly she moved across the forest floor, her steps slow and purposeful as she crept towards where she knew he’d be.

He came into view slowly, like the sun as it crept over the horizon, steadily pouring light back into the darkness that had become her life since he’d gone. He sat at the base of a large tree, peering upwards into the filtered sunlight, still as death. He was as she remembered, except he wasn’t.

His wings, once feathered and stark white, had turned to an inky black that seemed sharper somehow. As if were she to run her fingers along them she would bring back blood. Out of his tumbling midnight tresses now curled  onyx horns that curled outward. However, it was only when he turned to look at her did she see the extent of the change in him, his once warm eyes of deep soil now two orbs of empty, black abyss.

The shock of the change rooted her to the spot, unable to proceed as she inwardly mourned for the loss of his warm gaze. Whatever this creature was, she saw little trace of her Ben in him.

His expression was devoid of emotion, his lips in a tight line. “So you came.”

“I didn’t want it to be me.”

“Oh Rey,” he laughed darkly. “It was always going to be you. I’m sure Luke handed you the order himself.”

“He didn’t want to,” she all but whispered.

He scoffed then. “Oh, really? Is that what he told you?”

“It’s what I know.”

“So has he told you of my sins? Of all I’ve done since we parted?

“I know everything I need to know about you.”

“You do?” He questioned, his eyebrow tilting upwards just so. “Ah, you do. You have that look in your eye. The one from the garden… when you called me a monster.”

“Ben,” she choked out, a sob catching in her throat. “Look at you… look at what you’ve become. You _are_ a monster.”

He gave her a long look, his gaze weary. “Yes,” he sighed finally. “I am.”

He glanced up once again to the soft rays of the sun that streamed through the trees, the softest of smiles at his lips. “This place reminds me of the Garden. It’s why I chose it. I come here fairly often. Somehow it almost makes me feel as if I never lost you.”

His words cut her like a knife, tearing away at the last few pieces of her heart and leaving them in a tattered heap. She sucked in a breath. “You know what I’ve come to do, and yet you are unarmed.”

“I do not need weapons to kill, Rey,” he informed her. “But it matters not. I would never harm you. Do what you came to do.”

She gaped at him, at a loss for what to do and not expecting this docile acceptance of his fate.

“Ben, I—”

He held out a hand, silencing her as he stood. As he rose she noticed a thin, black tail curling from beneath him, moving idly as if having a mind of its own. She had to suppress the urge to shiver. Taking a step towards her, he gave a slow shake of his head. “Not Ben. Ben has been dead since you chose to forsake him. There is only Kylo Ren here… and he’s ready to die.”

She pulled her sword from its sheath, her hand trembling with the effort as she held it beside her. He let his hands fall to his sides, still nodding softly in encouragement.

“It’s alright, Rey. It’s _alright._ ” He took another step towards her, so close she could reach out and touch him if she wanted to. “I don’t blame you. I never did. I _want_ it to be you. I want _you_ to end it.”

Her eyes swam with tears. “I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.”

“Shh,” he soothed. “I’ll help you.”

Slowly his fingers wrapped around her wrist, bringing her arm upwards in position to strike. She held the blade high, her eyes locked with his.

It was now or never.

* * *

_The Beginning_

They were told that when the world fell it would end in fire. That was always how it had been foretold, ever since the time of Noah when the flood had washed across the Earth. Every Angel knew that story, and Rey was no exception.

She could never have known that _her_ world would end beneath a blue sky, under the the warmth of the sun. She lay in the grass beneath the Life Tree, as she always did when she had a spare moment. She watched the clouds pass by, studying their shapes. She had not seen Ben since their encounter in the sparring den, and she feared with every passing day of silence the chasm between them widened to a place beyond repair.

Her feelings on the matter were irrelevant. No matter how she felt, and no matter how much she thought about a world where she could give Ben all the things he wanted— that _they_ wanted, she knew it wasn’t in the cards for them. They were what they were made, and their duty was law.

She felt breeze ruffling her hair, and she closed her eyes to enjoy the warmth that was a constant in this place. She knew he’d come when a shadow passed over her eyes, the filtered brightness no longer peeking through her eyes.

“I thought perhaps I’d lost you,” she murmured, her eyes still shut.

“You could never lose me,” he assured her. “Not unless you wished to.”

She let her eyes flutter open then, his perfect face hovering above and for a moment she allowed herself to study him. He truly _was_ beautiful.

“I’m glad you’re back,” she murmured.

“I only came back for you.”

She frowned, turning her head in question and not understanding. “What do you mean?”

“I have met someone. Someone who assures me there is a place where we can be free to be with one another.”

“Ben… what have you done?”

He clenched his lips, looking away from her. “He’s not— he’s not what everyone says he is. He _understands.”_

She shot upwards to a seated position, her eyes wide and frantic as she sent up a silent prayer that he had not done what she feared. “ _Ben.”_

He shook his head. “I just want to be with you, Rey. I want to be free of this pain. Snoke assured me—”

“ _Snoke?_ As in _Astaroth?”_

Still he could not look at her. “It’s not what you think, he _assured_ me _—”_

 _“Of course he did!”_ she hissed. “He’s a murderous _snake._ He would say anything to sway you, to win your _soul.”_

He knelt, his arms gripping her shoulders in an attempt to calm her. “Listen to me, Rey. This is the only way. The _only_ way we can be together. Don’t lie to yourself. Don’t lie to _me…_ you love me. You love me just as I love you. Rey, I… I want you to join me.”

“ _Please,”_ she began to sob. “Please don’t go this way.”

He growled in frustration. “You’re still holding on. _Let go.”_

 _“_ Ben, I… I _can’t._ You aren’t the Ben I knew. My Ben would never do this. You’re going down a path I can’t follow. A path that will turn you into a— into a— a _monster._ Exactly what Snoke wants.”

“You think I’m a monster?” His face crumpled and fell, his fingers loosening their hold as his hands fell to the ground.

“That is where this ends. _Please._ Don’t do this.”

His expression grew cold then. “It is done.”

She choked out a sob. “ _No.”_

He stood, his movement robotic and stiff and devoid of life. “I only did this for you, Rey. Everything I’ve done, everything I am… it has always been for you.”

Then he was gone. Disappearing into nothing as if he’d never been. She felt a crack in the bond between them, a splinter of sorrow that wedged deep and split her in two.

There had been no fire, no smoke… and yet her world had ended all the same.

* * *

_The End_

“I can’t do it.”

She dropped the sword, listening as it landed in the soft Earth with a _thud._ She let her face fall to her hands, her shoulders shaking with soft sobs as her failure overtook her. How could she have ever thought she could do this? No matter what name he called himself, this was _Ben._ He was hers by any name.

She felt his palm at her cheek, the warmth of it weeping into her and breathing new life into her splintered soul. He tilted her face to his, his eyes sympathetic to her plight. “I never meant to cause to such pain. I only wanted to be free. Free to love you with all the strength I possess.”

She hung her head. “I did this to you.”

Again he brought her gaze to his, shaking his head. “My choices are my own. I chose my own destiny.”

“I should have just… I should have been honest.”

He sighed softly. “I know how you feel. I’ve always known. Even when you couldn’t admit it yourself.”

“You knew I would not be able to kill you.”

He shrugged softly. “I was prepared for either outcome. If my destiny was to die by your hand, then I would do so gladly. Life without you is a fate worse than death either way.”

“I cannot serve your Snoke.”

“You never will. Evil will not touch you. Not as long as I live.”

“Heaven will hunt us.”

“ _Let them,”_ he growled. “Heaven was never for us.”

“Hell will never allow you to protect me.”

He gripped her shoulders, forcing her gaze to his. “Listen to me; if you would have me, _nothing_ would keep you from me. You need only say the words.”

Her lip quivered with emotion, the words having been trapped on her tongue so long she feared she didn’t know how to relieve herself of them. She took a shuddering breath, her hazel eyes meeting the inky depths of his own.

“I love you, Ben.”

“As one loves mankind?”

She shook her head. “No. So much more than that.”

He smiled then, and for a moment she only saw _her_ Ben shining out of him. “Then we will make it work. We have all we need.”

“What of Heaven?”

“ _You_ are my Heaven. It has always been you. Just you.”

She watched enraptured as he leaned into her, her heart pounding in her breast as his lips hovered a hair’s breadth from her own. She felt no fear when they collided, only a sense of peace that had eluded her for so long she could not remember a time when she had last felt it. His lips moved over hers with a softness he didn’t look capable of, pulling her close to crush her to him as his arms encircled her.

Her breastplate made things cumbersome, keeping her from feeling the entirety of his warmth. He was of the same mind, reaching between them to tear it away in one fell swoop and tossing it to the ground. He pulled her against him, molding her body to his as his dark wings curled around them to brush against her own.

She shivered at the contact, her wings sensitive as it was and feeling his caressing her own was more intimate than anything she could have imagined. She gasped softly as his tongue pressed against her lips, the action forbidden and sweet and of unimaginable warmth as she opened for him. His fingers threaded into her hair, cradling her neck to angle it, allowing him further possession her mouth and leaving her breathless.

Her blood was like liquid fire, coursing through her veins with an intensity unlike anything she’d ever felt. Was this what humans felt all the time? It was maddening. It was _wonderful._ She let her fingers clutch at his waist, pulling him ever closer as it seemed she attempted to be as one.

She broke away, her breath labored and her body awash with sensation. “I feel… strange.”

“Strange good or strange bad?”

“Strange… good. I think.”

He let his lips fall to hers, pressing a soft kiss against them. “I know the feeling. I want to make you feel good.”

She felt his hands at her waist, sliding over the leather skirt that adorned her thighs and cupping beneath them to pull her upwards to his chest. He carried her to a soft patch of grass beneath the winding tree where she’d found him, spreading her across it and kneeling over her.

“So beautiful,” he murmured. “How could mankind be God’s favorite after having made you?”

Her heart swelled, reaching out her arms to invite him to her and he lowered to settle his weight over her body. Slowly he worked at the bracers and greaves, freeing her of them before working at the knot of her battle skirt to add it to the growing pile of armor he’d removed from her. She was left in nothing but the thin cotton of her tunic, just ending at the tops of her thighs and leaving little to the imagination.

She curiously tugged at the hem of his own tunic in silent question, and he immediately moved to pull it over his head. The expanse of broad muscle on display left a flutter in her belly, and she could only focus on his skin as again it settled over her. Again his lips moved over hers, working her into a flustered state that she felt content to remain in forever.

She could feel him everywhere, no part of her not touching him and she was ablaze in the warmth of his skin as his hands moved everywhere they could reach. She felt his fingers working at the ties that bound her tunic, slowly undoing them and pushing apart the fabric at an even more tortuous pace. She felt the air kissing st her skin, Ben propping up on one hand to watch as he uncovered the last bit of her.

He unwrapped her as if she were a gift, and his expression said that she was. He let a large hand flatten over her naked belly, sliding over her ribs to palm at her breast, the searing heat of his hands threatening to burn her skin. He experimentally pinched at her nipple, a soft cry escaping her as her back arched into his touch.

“ _Ben.”_

“You’re more than I could have ever imagined,” he murmured.

She felt a warmth blooming low in her belly, a pressure she’d never felt and she clenched her thighs to combat the maddening sensation. He glanced down at her squirming limbs, seeming curious as he allowed his hand to trail downwards. She gasped when she felt his fingers parting her, dragging slowly through the glistening folds that had never been touched before.

He couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away, held captive by the sight of her body as it opened for him. When she felt a finger pressing against her entrance, her back bowed, allowed him easier access as his finger slipped inside. She clenched around the intrusion, his thick digit eliciting a strange pleasure that left her open-mouthed and desperate for more.

It was only when she felt a second intrusion, some prodding below that joined the assault of his finger did she startle. She glanced down with wide eyes, seeing the tip of his tail sliding through her folds to stroke at her center. She jolted as it flicked over the sensitive core, tracing a path through her warmth before pressing to slide inside her and join the slow curling of his finger. The _wrongness_ of it eluded her, unable to focus on much else save for the way she _felt._

His thighs draped over hers, a heavy press of a hardened length against her skin. She knew the mechanics of sex, had learned of it in theory as had they all, but never could she have dreamed of the _warmth_ of it all, the intimacy. If she were so flushed with desire she might actually be embarrassed, but she could not linger on the potential of that for the sheer pleasure of it.

“Rey, I… I want this. Want _you._ Tell me you feel the same.”

She nodded breathlessly, unable to do much else. “I do.”

He blew out a shaky breath, leaning to let his tongue flatten over her nipple as his fingers were suddenly at the clasps of his trousers. She mewled at the heat of his mouth, his tongue moving over the taut peak purposefully as it coaxed pleasure from her needy body. His tail still languidly filled her, wriggling slightly and driving her to madness as he worked to free himself of his trousers. She felt the weight of him as he fell out of his pants, the thick member laying heavily against her skin as dewy wetness beaded from the tip to smear over her belly.

He thrust against her, shuddering as his stiff length slid against her smooth skin and she felt a flush creeping up her body. They both knew that nothing could come of this— their kind having been known to be sterile and allowing for no fear to be had, only anticipation.

It only took a few swift movements to rid them of the rest of their clothes, leaving nothing between them but their own skin. Again his fingers teased her entrance, his tail sliding away to allow him entrance and he worked to stretch her in preparation for him. When he pulled them away, his lips fell to hers to cover them even as she felt a larger intrusion seeking to press inside.

His length sliding into her was a slow torture, her inner walls stretching around him and unused to such a massive breach. She hissed out a breath as he filled her, his groan sounding in her hair as he pressed to the hilt, his hips meeting hers. Never before has she felt such fullness, and she knew she would find it nowhere else.

Her lips brushed along his jaw, following the instincts that felt natural as he moved inside her in an exploratory way. The tiny motion setting about a friction that she felt throughout her entire body.

“ _Again,”_ she pleaded.

He repeated the movement with a little more force, dragging his velvet length outwards against the ridges of her inner walls. She felt every part of him as he moved, her mouth falling open as he pushed back inside.

“ _More.”_

He obliged, beginning a pace of thrusts that only increased in tempo as his breath quickened and heart raced. She felt his fingers digging the rounded swell of her backside, lifting her hips from the ground to slam deeper inside. His pace has become punishing, _bruising_ even, and she could only cling to him tightly as he chased his own pleasure while giving her pleasure in return.

She felt a tumultuous current rushing deep inside, like a crested wave that teetered at the edge and threatened to wash over her. Her breath left her in tiny, broken gasps, clawing at his shoulders as she struggled to chase after the all encompassing sensation. _So close._ Just a little further, just a little closer and she would—

It hit her like a bolt of lightning, shocking her system and setting her alight with jolted arousal that flooded her system. She let out a moan unbecoming for one such as her, loud and unashamed and everything she’d been taught not to be. Ben’s hips still rolled into her trembling warmth, the muscles of his shoulders tightening under her still clawing fingers as his legs seemed to shake between hers.

He grunted as he followed, still pushing into her with sharp thrusts as warmth bloomed deep inside her, the evidence of him painting her insides and leaving her forever changed. His lips moved over her face with all the pleading urgency of a man afraid to lose her, clutching her tight as if afraid to let go.

“I love you,” he breathed.

“And I you.”

He remained seated inside her, seeming to not want to lose that moment just yet and she felt content to lie that way for as long as he wanted. Her fingers carded through his hair, moving to trace the hardened appendages that curled from his inky locks. She had to admit they were actually quite beautiful. His face burrowed into the chestnut tresses pooled at her neck as he sighed in content, a low rumble sounding in his chest as her fingers continued to explore his horns.  

“Where will we live?” she wondered. “There is no place for us.”

He leaned upwards then, regarding her with all the warmth his vacant eyes could muster. “If there is no place for us… then we will make our own.” He gestured around them, pointing at all the lush greenery that felt like a paradise on Earth. “Here if we must. Somewhere else if need be. It does not matter. My heaven is wherever you are, Rey. It has always been so.”

She smiled at him, feeling her soul mending with every second in his embrace and feeling more alive than she ever had. This was how it should be. She was meant to be with _him_ , here at the end of all things. Only… that wasn’t right. This wasn’t the _end._ Not for them.

...this was only the beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> You’re an angel all your own, Sage. I hope you liked! ❤️


End file.
